Hello Again

            …Well this is a bit awkward. Hello again sweet little blog, I’ve let a shameful amount of time pass without giving you the love and attention you deserve. The lazy nature of summer seduced me into a haze of cuddling with my dogs and watching an ungodly amount of Netflix. Not to worry though, I’m back and better than ever. To get back in the swing of things, I thought I’d share a little piece I did about a year ago. I always liked it, but I had wanted to start HBB with something a bit more upbeat. Every word still rings true for me. I hope you enjoy it and I promise to post again soon!

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Mount Holyoke College came up with the phrase never fear/change last year. They were so smitten with it that all applicants were made to write an essay about what it meant to them, and considering the rather confusing wording of it, how they chose to interpret the meaning. I remember being so puzzled as I spent hours trying to find a spark of inspiration strong enough to carry me through an essay, but finally it hit me, it wasn’t the wording that I disliked, it was the concept.

            I am the first to admit that I am a fearful person. I am by no means a big “risk taker” and I never will be. I am anxious and timid and shy. However, that does not stop me from being unique and creative and intelligent. Anxiety and fear are completely natural emotions; they were created with just as much care as happiness or love. Yet they are shunned and rejected by us. This is not to say that one should always be anxious, but instead to remind us all that a bit of fear can be a good thing. You know that little voice in that back of your head? Or that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach? That’s fear, and it’s there for a reason. Fear stops us from doing things that will put us in danger. Fear keeps us safe.

            The essay I sent in to dear old MHC was not full of lies about how brave I was; rather it was a confession of how terrified I was. I was born and raised in Texas, yet for some crazy reason I desperately wanted to move clear across the country to a place where I didn’t know a soul. As I said before, I am not usually a risk taker, but something just drew me to this place. So, in my essay I chose to explain why on earth I was willing to throw caution to the wind and do what utterly terrified me. This place has, however, been worth the fear and gut wrenching existential crises I went through to get here. Therefore, while I understand the intent behind the slogan “never fear/change,” I find that I prefer my own version, which is “accept fear/change.”

            Doing something that scares you can lead to some of the best memories of your life, it certainly has for me. That being said, you should never ignore that voice in your head or that feeling in the pit of your stomach. Embrace them, understand why they are there and if after all of that you still feel passionate about whatever it is that caused them, go forth with fear my friends.