…Well
this is a bit awkward. Hello again sweet little blog, I’ve let a shameful
amount of time pass without giving you the love and attention you deserve. The
lazy nature of summer seduced me into a haze of cuddling with my dogs and
watching an ungodly amount of Netflix. Not to worry though, I’m back and better
than ever. To get back in the swing of things, I thought I’d share a little
piece I did about a year ago. I always liked it, but I had wanted to start HBB
with something a bit more upbeat. Every word still rings true for me. I hope
you enjoy it and I promise to post again soon!
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Mount Holyoke
College came up with the phrase never fear/change last year. They were so
smitten with it that all applicants were made to write an essay about what it
meant to them, and considering the rather confusing wording of it, how they
chose to interpret the meaning. I remember being so puzzled as I spent hours
trying to find a spark of inspiration strong enough to carry me through an
essay, but finally it hit me, it wasn’t the wording that I disliked, it was the
concept.
I
am the first to admit that I am a fearful person. I am by no means a big “risk
taker” and I never will be. I am anxious and timid and shy. However, that does
not stop me from being unique and creative and intelligent. Anxiety and fear
are completely natural emotions; they were created with just as much care as
happiness or love. Yet they are shunned and rejected by us. This is not to say
that one should always be anxious, but instead to remind us all that a bit of
fear can be a good thing. You know that little voice in that back of your head?
Or that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach? That’s fear, and it’s there
for a reason. Fear stops us from doing things that will put us in danger. Fear
keeps us safe.
The
essay I sent in to dear old MHC was not full of lies about how brave I was;
rather it was a confession of how terrified I was. I was born and raised in
Texas, yet for some crazy reason I desperately wanted to move clear across the
country to a place where I didn’t know a soul. As I said before, I am not
usually a risk taker, but something just drew me to this place. So, in my essay
I chose to explain why on earth I was willing to throw caution to the wind and
do what utterly terrified me. This place has, however, been worth the fear and
gut wrenching existential crises I went through to get here. Therefore, while I
understand the intent behind the slogan “never fear/change,” I find that I
prefer my own version, which is “accept fear/change.”
Doing
something that scares you can lead to some of the best memories of your life,
it certainly has for me. That being said, you should never ignore that voice in
your head or that feeling in the pit of your stomach. Embrace them, understand
why they are there and if after all of that you still feel passionate about
whatever it is that caused them, go forth with fear my friends.
